You may be thinking, "but this kid is old enough to know better." Perhaps. She might be 7 or 10 and fully know what behavior is acceptable and what you mean when you tell her not to hit her brother. Even if she *does* "know better," how nice is it to always hear someone angrily shouting, "No!" or "Don't!" at you? The negativity and anger just oozes out and hovers above you like a thick storm cloud.

Try shifting your attention for an afternoon, or an hour, or even just fifteen minutes. When you see the child doing something that you'd normally say no to, try to stop yourself and instead tell him what you'd like him *to* do. Like author Jack Canfield says in the movie, focus on what you want, instead of what you don't want. Think about how to phrase your desires positively to gently guide the child. You may be surprised at how receptive he is and how pleasant the rest of your afternoon becomes.

The teachers in The Secret suggest that you quit the complaining and whining about all the things that bug you. I have struggled with this, as well. I have always been a huge complainer. Esther Hicks points out, "Sometimes people will say, 'Those people at work are so negative,' or, 'The man I live with is so angry,' or, 'My children are so worrisome to me,' and we say, 'You must orient yourself to the best part of those people who surround you.'

So instead of fuming and grumbling about the messes in their rooms or your children's selective hearing, look at your children's good qualities: their senses of wonder, their shining smiles, the loving hugs and kisses they bestow upon you, their pride in their accomplishments, their laughs and squeals of delight that can light up a whole room....

Psychologist John Gray's advice to take time for yourself is also very important for parents and nannies alike. If you're constantly giving, giving, giving to your children and families without concern for your own needs, at some point you will probably run out of yourself to give. Find some easy ways to recharge yourself so you're a happier nanny or mom: Enjoy a nice cup of tea or a bubble bath when the kids are in bed for the night. Invite another nanny or mother and their kids over for a playdate, to revel in adult conversation. Have your partner give the kids a bath while you read a magazine cover-to-cover in bed. Plop the kids in a stroller and go for a nice jog or brisk walk in the fresh air. When you can take time to treat yourself as lovingly and attentively as you treat your children, everybody wins.

I'll leave you with this quote from Rev. Dr. Michael Beckwith:

"Learn to become still, and to take your attention away from what you don't want, and all the emotional charge around it, and place your attention on what you wish to experience."