I prefer to use real ASL signs with Ethan (14 months). That way, other people can understand what he's trying to sign, and he's got a little bit of a head start if he decides he wants to learn ASL as a foreign language when he gets older. It's also very convenient to be able to just look up a sign I don't know in a dictionary, instead of trying to think up a way to represent a word with an all-new sign. A lot of baby signs books modify the signs so they're easier for baby to physically do, but I have never had any problem with any kid using or understanding real ASL signs.

My favorite ASL dictionary is The Perigee Visual Dictionary of Signing. It has some nice illustrations and descriptions of how to do each sign, and there are also comments about what the sign suggests (like milking a cow for the word "milk") in order to help you remember the signs.

Other good resources include The ASL Browser and aslpro.com, both of which show you videos of someone doing each sign. I have found that incredibly helpful because sometimes it's difficult to figure out exactly how to do a sign just using drawings and descriptions in a book.

I recommend picking 2 or 3 signs to start with, although if that seems overwhelming, just pick one. Think of a situation that is often frustrating for you or your child because she doesn't have the words to communicate her needs or desires. Then look up the related signs to teach her.

Some common helpful first signs are:
all done / finished
bye-bye
cold
drink
eat
diaper / potty
help
hot
hurt
milk
more
sleep / tired

Once you've decided on a few first signs to focus on, start using them when you talk to your child. The more you can really learn the signs and use them in everyday interactions, the easier and faster it will be for your toddler to pick them up. For instance, if you decide to start with a sign for drink, use it every time you talk about drinking and when you offer your child something to drink. Just make the sign whenever you say the word. Pretty soon you can "test" your child by just doing the sign and seeing if you get the same reaction as when you say the word.

How long until your baby signs back? It depends on a few factors, like how old the child was when you started signing, her physical development and fine motor skills, and how interested she is in signing. I don't remember exactly when we started signing to Ethan, but it was when he started paying very close attention to our faces and hands when we did things - I think around 7 to 9 months. He didn't sign back until he was a year old, but when he did start signing, he had a huge explosion of 10 signs within a few weeks. Even before he signed back, it was clear he understood our signs, so we just kept with it. Now he picks up new signs much more quickly; it often takes him seeing the sign just a few times before he'll start using it.

Sometimes it takes a while to be able to recognize a child's sign (even if you teach modified signs), just like it may take some time to understand a certain word they're trying to pronounce. Other times they'll start out with the most perfect imitation of a sign. They won't do every sign perfectly, and that's fine. The goal is communication. One of the children I nannied for used to sign "milk" just like waving bye-bye, instead of milking a cow. The key was context. He would "wave" a lot during meals!

Some children will even make up their own signs, and that's wonderful, too! Ethan has a few that I didn't teach him, like "phone" and "wash." I don't correct him or try to force him to do the sign the "right" way. He gets his point across, and his signs are actually very close to the ASL signs.

We love being able to have conversations with our 14-month-old son even though he doesn't speak much yet. Do you sign with your child? Tell us about it! What signs have you found to be helpful?